Tag Archives: Jill Paquette

the [heart] of the matter.

My body is experiencing withdrawals from a nature filled weekend.  I hitched a ride out to Cat Springs for the annual Ecclesia women’s retreat.  I really did not know what to expect and had some serious thoughts of backing out at the last minute but I didn’t.  Good.  I enjoyed laying on grass, hearing the sounds of a waterfall, great conversation, great worship, and much laughter.  When we went in for worship I was surprised that one of the worship leaders looked very familiar to me.  In that “how do I know this person” kind of familiar.  I finally realized that it was Donna from the butterfly blog.  I have checked out her blog a few times from another blog friend Lauren.  I am telling you this blog life is fun and equally strange.  Anyway, Donna and Jill did such an amazing job leading us to worship.  They are together witty and ever so talented.

Throughout the weekend my goal was to get alone and write a lot of stuff in my journal.  Every time I went to write my words would just not come.  Instead I kept seeing this picture in my mind.  It was of me raising my hands to God handing over my heart.  An offering if you will.  Letting go.  Over and over this image would roll in and out of my thoughts.  It made such an impression on me that I needed to create it.  Along with my 9 year old photographer it was done.

A picture of letting go.  Me.  I am letting go of fear.  Fear of a wounded heart.  Yes.  That is what this portrait is symbolizing.  It took me laying on some grass + full attention for me to hear.  I feel like singing the song that goes something like… “I can see clearly now the rain is gone…“.

I love the way that God romances me into a deeper relationship.  The melodies, photos, words seem to flutter the little girl inside me.

So I wonder.

What does it for you?

to go… or to stay… ?

“I can’t go with you and stay where I am…”

These lyrics from an amazing song have rolled in thoughts much this week. Jill Paquette sang it at church on Sunday. The words came and went quickly. They dropped me to my seat so I could scribble them down before the memory was lost. If you know the song this came from PLEASE let me know. This is now the only line I can remember.

Isn’t it true?

We just can’t go with Him and stay right where we are. Sometimes figuratively and sometimes in reality.

In two days I will journey with Him to Haiti. I will journey with Him to the place he desires me to see. I will serve the sweet faces He brings before me. I will know Him more. I will love Him more.

I cannot wait.

I will be arriving at the airport at 4 AM on Thursday Morning. Seriously. Throughout the day I will meet up with some amazing people who I am fortunate enough to travel with. My fellow Haiti team is Aaron and Jamie Ivey, Matt and Lauren Pappa, Jason and Sara Hyatt, Marcus and Chrystal Gafford, Amy Gayhart, Ginger Swan, and Kim Rhodes. I am excited to meet each and every person. While there we will be serving the Livesay family as well as Lori, Licia and the Rescue Center.

Anyway, I want to know if this phrase brings up emotion in you. What does it say to you? Do you think it is a true statement? Why?

“I can’t go with you and stay where I am…”